Friendship section

Staying safe

Staying safe in virtual friendships

In showing interest and concern for someone they could become attracted to you, or even get the wrong idea as to the relationship that exists between them and you. Virtually in their minds far more may have happened between you than you are aware of, and this can for many seem as real as a real affair. This is similar to the pupil who believes she has slept with the supportive teacher she idolises, but never did, or the person offered help that feels they owe a debt and imagine it paid in some relationship form that did not exist. Sometimes these feelings can be re-discovered or recovered many years later, particularly in the UK where the police set up large trawling operations, even offering financial rewards for those who can recover memories of being taken advantage of, and many thousands of teachers and social workers have subsequently had their lives turned upside down, health destroyed and some are spending long terms in prison for these virtual crimes. Remember in Britain it is not unusual for people to spend over a year on remand in prison before anyone realises there is no evidence, or for the police to run a case based on smoke and no fire. You will find there are many cases where the virtual crimes could not have been committed, and some times the building in which they are said to have occurred never existed. There are a number of support organisations dealing with these areas, that offer more information if you wish to find out more. It is therefore not only a real risk now, but also a potential risk in the future so should be taken seriously.

In some cases a virtual friendship or feelings well beyond any physical relationship can develop, and this is quite normal. This is safe providing that neither of you know the identity of the other, or are able to find it out, and come from some considerable way apart, but if a physical relationship could have been a possibility then you are entering dangerous territory, particularly if there is a large age gap between you, and one of you at the time was under 16, possibly 18.

Should you decide to meet at some point, there is a risk that the virtual relationship will become a physical one. Even if you have not imagined any relationship between you beyond what has actually occurred, you are friends, understand and trust each other, and have so much natural rapport that you get on extremely well and feel extremely close to each other.

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