Lost Love

 

When you fall out of love with someone it hurts, the first time more than later times, and more so if they have dumped you than if you got in first and dumped them for some reason.

When it is separation and divorce, and the lawyers get involved, two people who were best friends can quickly become battling enemies, to the great profit of the solicitors and suffering of both parties. There appears to be a competition as to who can be most spiteful, awkward and disrespectful of the other. Everything from confidences and secrets to children gets used as ammunition. All completely unnecessary as they could when they decided to separate have just sat down and peacefully shared out everything and came to an arrangement that both were happy with. Men will agree maintenance as they don't want to have to give up their jobs to care for children, and access arrangements between two sensible adults is quite east to work out, that is practical and beneficial for the children. 

The other advantage of removing the conflict is that friends, children and others do not then feel the need to polarize, being friends then only with one side. Likewise the hurt for the children is reduced and parental responsibility can be applied, rather than a war where the children get used as weapons but are also able to play one parent off against the other.

When you fall out of love, the temptation is often to go for a replacement partner who is the exact opposite of the last one, and this is usually a major mistake. Ideally you need to take a little time and have a little fun as a free person before starting to consider a longer term relationship again, and also take the time to audit your life, as it is far easier to change direction at this point than when more people become involved.